Harry Potter and the Ghouls of Silverpine

Luna and Cho without makeup

Location: Fenris Isle, Silverpine Forest

Faction: Horde

Hey kids! Remember the four Wizards that started Hogwarts in your favorite series of books?  Yea! There was Godric Griffindor, and Helga Hufflepuff and a servant of the Lich King…   Wait.  What?

Yes, apparently long before there was Hogwarts, Harry, Ron or Hermoine there was Thule Ravenclaw, a wizard of Lordaeron that at the height of the Third War decided to switch sides and sign on with the Lich King’s forces.  Which leads me to wonder if Slytherin was really that bad of a house in Harry Potter…  or if they were constantly getting framed by the Ravenclaws.  I mean, we’re talking about a guy who has undead gnolls and zombies crawling all over Silverpine.

Okay okay okay.  I’ll stop mixing up my Fantasy before the Tolkien fans show up and tell me that their fandom is the “original” and “best”.  But these ghouls were probably my first double take in wandering around WoW.  I didn’t even make the Harry Potter connection while I was running around the first time, and I don’t think I’m the only one.  From browsing both WoWhead and Thottbot, I couldn’t find a comment on any of these that had anything to do with Harry Potter.  And we’re talking about websites that are reknown for having comments with far fetched theories about what certain things in the game are references to.  So why is it that no one is drawing connections to Harry Potter?  Is it because Ravenclaw has nothing to do with Undead Hyena-Men and Zombies?  Are you sure?  I mean all we know from those books is that Ravenclaw’s are smart (Smart enough to raise the dead?) and Luna and Cho are in that house.  We can’t say for certain that they’re not raising an undead army for the Lich King. Who, and lets be honest, could take some Villain lessons from Voldemort.  Ack! Sorry, I got back on the Harry Potter thought train again…  (And apparently I’m the only one…)

Anchors (and Logic) Away!

This is what passes for 'Art' in Goblin Towns.

Location: Ratchet, The Barrens

Faction: Neutral

Now this isn’t the first time I’ve spoken about the wonderful Goblins.  I’ve spoken about their efficient use of amazing machines with the Venture Company in comparison to say Orcs.  But despite what the Goblins have in technical abilities, I often have to wonder about their choices in aesthetics.  Gnomish technology is functional, less likely to blow you up, and definately has a unique design aesthetic that when you look at a Gnome machine you KNOW it’s a gnome machine.  Other than the fact that they are usually cobbled togehter machines that seem to be rusty and a hazard to your health, I’ve never seen any intent on the Goblins part to make things look good.  They seem to pride themselves on getting the job done and under budget.  This probably explains why things like the Sludge Fen rig in the Northern Barrens looks like it’s about to collapse when you climb it.  So when I start to see things like the giant anchor in the middle of Ratchet, I have to wonder.

I don’t think it was placed there intentionally.  I couldn’t imagine a bunch of goblins taking the time to drag a huge anchor onto land and prop it up for no real reason.  It would be a waste of time, money and manpower for a simple visual piece in the center of town.  But then again in Booty Bay there is a huge statue of a goblin standing there in robes.  I’m extremely curious about these because Goblins don’t seem to take a break long enough to even build decent homes.  Most goblin towns are either domes or barely standing shacks.  So why would they go to such lengths to decorate?

Confusion with Ogre Naming Conventions

One of these things is not like the other...

Location: Telaar, Nagrand

Faction: Alliance

Most races in the World of Warcraft have naming conventions.  These are normally common traits that you would find in first or last names.  They create a sense of grouping that you can easily understand.  Such as Blood Elves having names with apostrophes in them (Kael’Thas, Lor’themar, etc) or Gnomish last names pertaining to some great invention (Springseeker, Airslicer, etc).  Normally, if you know enough about the naming conventions of a society, you can usually pick out a name that sounds different.  Take demons for example.  Demons tend to have alot of X’s, Z’s or V’s in their names. Take these three and tell me if you can find the non-demon name: Xavius, Bazzalan, Galakrond.

If you said Galakrond, good for you! Give yourself a cookie.  But today’s odd bit comes from a naming convention that doesn’t necessarily make sense.  In Outland, one of the most common species of sentience creatures is Ogres.  There’s tons of them! Nagrand, Zangarmarsh, and Blade’s Edge. Covered with Ogres.  So you imagine that the Draenei, who were long time natives to Outland, would have some familiarity with Ogre names.  So I would like to address the attached picture to this post. Dump, Lump… or BILLY?!

Villainy 101 (with Arthas & Friends)

Back before Wrath of the Lich King had even hit store shelves, Blizzard made a lot of talk about how it wanted to correct certain mistakes from The Burning Crusade.  Blizzard, the ever evolving, was learning! This was something I’ve always admired in their dedication to the magnum opus of a MMO.  Granted, not everyone enjoys every single change (Insert: Catering to the casuals! DKs are OP!) but the fact that they try is more than some companies can say (I’m still waiting for my Ultimate Doom on Xbox 360 to get patched to NOT crash at the end of Episode 2.) but one of their most boastful changes to WotLK from BC was fixing the issue with Illidan (who I’ll probably get around to talking about at some point) and make sure that Arthas is an upfront villain from the get-go.  That Arthas would be a constant presence as we went through Northrend.  However, at some point during this Arthas became a mustache-twirling evil-overlord-list-breaking villain that Snively Whiplash would frown at.

Orphans: Life’s Little Guilt Trips

Look, I'll put out the fires just for the gold.

LOCATION: Any town the Headless Horseman tries to burn.

FACTION: Neutral

Orphans.  They’re everywhere it seems.  In the spring we have to deal with Children’s Week, where we lug this hapless kids around all of Azeroth.  Not just Azeroth, but Outland and Northrend now too.  In the fall we have to save their orphanage from the tyrannical fire bombings of the Headless Horseman.  And why?  Why do we do this?  Well certainly there’s the monetary gain and pets, but surely there are better pets and more money to be had for an easier task.  No.  The reason is guilt.  It’s our war that took these poor little brats parents.  Heck, I’ve slaughtered my share of Alliance and Horde NPCs.  Surely some of them had to have kids.  So we take them. We drag them around.  We buy them whatever we want.  But what if it wasn’t just an event…  but a PLOT?

The Strange, Strange Policies of Trolls

This is how I see the world.

LOCATION: Zul’Aman, Ghostlands

FACTION: Horde

Since the early Blood Elf quests, there has been an on-going battle for the lands of Quel’thalas between the members of the Amani trolls and the Blood Elves.  This has been going on since the Second War.  The Amani has a massive empire just to the east of Quel’Thalas (Currently the region known as the Ghostlands).  Their empire is huge, what you get to see in Quel’Thalas is only the tip of the Trolls domain (Note that the Zul’Aman wall extends well into Eversong Woods as well), full of angry, bitter, troll warriors.  I wouldn’t be surprised if the trolls, who have had nothing to do but reproduce and train for the past decade, far out number the recently dwindled Blood Elf population.

So why don’t they just take over? Instead of setting up small encampments along the outside of their wall for easy pickings by the Farstriders?  The answer may come from looking merely at the  surroundings of their empire.

Urgent Update on Silvermoon’s Cat Situation!

LOCATION: Silvermoon City, Eversong Woods

FACTION: Horde

Ages ago I criticized the cats of Silvermoon, contemplating their purpose in the chic empire of the Blood Elves.  Well, my friends, I have an answer.

Wait... I thought the Magician's Apprentice starred a MOUSE.

They. Are. Supervisors.

No joke.  The cats are the once who keep the brooms in line.  Just take a look at the photo.  The cats are watching the brooms intently, and spend the rest of the time doing nothing.  That sounds like supervisors to me.  Perhaps there are ranks of management above them, too.  Maybe the cats secretly report to the leper gnomes (You know, a perk to being enslaved and all) and the leper gnomes report to the succubi, and on upwards…  I doubt anyone reports to the broom. I mean, it’s a broom.  It doesn’t even have a brain.

Go ahead. Call me a broom-ist, but what are they gonna do? Clean me? HA HA!

We Dug Too Deep, Too Greedily…

Hey look! It's like a metaphor for those "Moral Choices" I keep hearing about in video games these days.

Location: Splintertree Post, Ashenvale

Faction: Horde

Far to the back of the horribly designed Splintertree Post (Come on, would it be that hard to consolidate the entire place in a sensible fashion?  You got some of it in the walls, some of it outside of the walls, and even more of it on the other side of the road and down the ways a bit…), lies a long and dark tunnel.  Filled with a red haze, this twisting turning cavern has no one in it, and leads to nowhere.  I’ve seen people use this as a staging ground for RP or World PvP events (Kill the target in the cave before the buzzer tolls and you win!), but these aren’t really explanations for its eerie presence in the woods.  However, from the red fog to the flames lining the path, I do believe that there is another explanation…

Love the Goblins, Hate the Needles

I don't know what's worse. The poor attempt at impressionism, or the knife throwers aim.

Location: Booty Bay, Stranglethorn Vale

Faction: Neutral

Now, don’t get me wrong. I like Booty Bay.  Yes, I know, I spent hours slaughtering their Bruisers and leaders to get a fancy looking hat, but in the end, I really do enjoy their city.  It’s a one of a kind place.  Look at almost every other goblin town, be it Gadgetzan, Area 52 or K3 and they roughly all have the same Mos Eisley Spaceport look and feel to them (Ratchet is the exception, but judging from the number of empty buildings in that place, my guess is the Goblins “invested” in it rather than built it).  Booty Bay is a pirates town alright, like an Azerothian Tortuga, and there’s pirate grudges and feuds all about.

The oddest grudge I’ve found there though can be found in one of the houses a stones throw from the inn.  Inside is a large painting of what appears to be Thousand Needles, and daggers flung into it.  Now, I’ve heard of fearing or hating a place because of what’s there (Silithids, Worgen,  billions of skeletons, and lag come to mind for a few places around Azeroth) but all that’s in 1K Needles is Goblins and Tauren. One runs Booty Bay and the other can’t figure out that’s flying lizard mommies produce flying lizard babies.  So what could these people possibly have against 1K Needles?

Man is in the Forest

It's fortunate for this lot that Nesingwary is busy in the Sholazar Basin.

Location: Near the Westfall Brigade Encampment, Grizzly Hills

Faction: Neutral

Tired of slaughtering legions of undead monstrosities?  Exhausted from battling the endless waves of Blue Flight?  Well, how about a trip down memory lane with some children’s cartoons?  That’s right. In the midst of the war zone of damnation and suffering that is Northrend, the cute and cuddly world of Disney has come to pay us a visit.

For those of you who still can’t get it from the picture, that’s the WoW version of the Bambi team (Bambina = Bambi, Thudder = Thumper, Flora = Flower).  But sadly not all is going so well for the team of cheerful singing animals, as history is always bound to repeat itself.